when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize