I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
