I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
NoShamevember. You game?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
