you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
