How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just pynch a tree in the face
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Randomize
