Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
