she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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