I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i've created a new STD.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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