I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
