you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
