She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
