I wish you could order shots online.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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