operation harelip BJ is a go
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
