epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize