So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the raccoons are back...
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