Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
