It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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