Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
