I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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