how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
