i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
