I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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