I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
