I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
