she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
