lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
