idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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