I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
