what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
