I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
