she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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