we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
