in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
