it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
