I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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