I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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