u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
