I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize