"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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