I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
