only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
