I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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