I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
