have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
