Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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