I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
