I love black thongs
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Mom said you looked used
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize