He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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