Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
