Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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