everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
