You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
