4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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