How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Blood and glitter go together right?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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