We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize