I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
