1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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