we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
