You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
