We're like a lot better than the average bears
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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