**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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