Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
